The past few weeks of trying to write this godforsaken column (it gets harder every week since i've started, I've realized a sad truth. Worldstar is going down the fucking tubes. The main substance of the site is now officially no-name rappers laying doing stupid ass videos. Leave it to sniveling, politically correct fuckheads to ruin a perfectly good online catalog of offensively ignorant debauchery. People are gonna do stupid shit whether Worldstar HipHop is around or not. Cops are ruining the site too, but that should go without saying; still, I don't know how I feel about it. Sure, people who post videos of illegal activity should expect to fucked. But at the same time, police shouldn't be surfing worldstar all day just to prosecute people who have done things that don't really matter at this point, it's old news. If anything, they should be their jobs and get out on the streets to prevent crime in the first place.
So please, pussy bitches and you bacon-backed-donut-eating-oinkers out there, stay the fuck out of my internet. If you don't like what you see then close your damn eyes.
Aside from that though, the internet is a weird fucking thing. I know of nothing in my lifetime that transforms itself and so drastically changes the lives of the human population. The internet is pretty awesome, but it's becoming a tool of the police state across the globe. Just as we have all learned over time that the internet is a great fucking place, so have the authorities (they just took a little longer).
Give it a few more years before greedy politicians completely strip it of anything good and turn it into a global monitoring network nothing shy of 1984 type shit. Honestly, you're a fool if you think it's not going to happen- just look at the general trajectory of pretty much anything that has happened in human history; people in power take what they want.
Anyway, enough rambling, enjoy this shit while it lasts…
(Sorry, no best of WSHH comments on this one. If Worldstar is gonna half-ass their shit, so am I. Just to keep in the spirit of things though.)
Bun B – Turn it Up
Bun B is just fucking smooth. The video is nothing special, but he does have snow in the summer if you feel like skiin'.
That's Not How You Drive a Forklift
First off, learn how to drive a forklift with a load that completely blocks your field of view… backwards. That's the whole point of the fuckin beeping noise.
Somebody Take this Guy Out Back and Shoot Him
The worst dad ever. Too bad this shit is like a dime a dozen in New York- cyclists know what I'm talking about. It's almost like the pedestrians here all WANT to die. I thought looking both ways before you cross the road is something every Mom taught their kids. Guess I was wrong about that though…
Shithead 1 VS Shithead 2
I was actually cheering for the cops in this video, because this douchebag has some serious entitlement issues. I thought he had what was coming to him but then I remembered that cops are the biggest douchebags of all and deserve no praise whatsoever.
Turn a Trick, Suck a Dick. Sperm Count, Sperm Count.
I'm putting this woman up for crackhead of the decade. Suckin dick for the kids.
There's really nothing like a good old fashioned beat down.
Wait, Stop the Cameras… I Think Someone Just Died
Oh wait, this is just a prank. Let this video be living proof that the Middle East goes a little too hard.
Fucked Up Shit Pornstars Say
I'll let this one speak for itself…
Oh yeah- here's a video I wanna keep a surprise from all you internet goons. The autoplay feature on Worldstar is the fucking best. This shit gives new meaning to the act of “getting head”…