Remember when all those news articles came out recently about Stephen Hawking and how the only the thing that truly boggles his mind are females? Yeah, I know, I hardly remember it to; but all those internet news sites were freaking out over it. I don’t think it’s that impressive that STEPHEN HAWKING doesn’t understand women, because NO ONE understands women. (Editor’s Note: Predatory marketing firms understand women just fine…)
Stephen may not understand chicks, but he sure as hell likes ‘em (no surprise there, besides what he might be able to do about it). According to numerous gossip publications, Mr. Hawking is a regular at a Devore, California sex club. All this info comes from a regular at Freedom Acres Swingers Club which sounds like a strip club/ nursing home for octogenarians. Apparently, old Stevie rolls up with a horde or nurses and assistants, and then proceeds to have naked women grind all over him. Like: All. The. Time.
Apparently, his favorite thing to do is lay in bed clothed and have women pop their sweet pussies all over him. Why is this surprising? The dude needs a team of nurses to take a shit, he can’t move, he can’t even talk. (Having “Siri from 1980″ rattle off one liners for you doesnt count)
He’s rich, so lets just say that up front, but when it’s time for him to unwind and kick his feet up (i’m sorry), do you really expect Stephen Hawking to roll up to the country club for a round of golf and a swim? Obviously not. And when he’s looking for a lady, do you think he hits the cloooob and gets bottle service and bobs his head to the new rap track thats tearing the dance floor up? (Um, CAN he bob his head?)
So what does he do? The last thing he can do, SIT back and fucking enjoy. Hit the sex club like any self respecting man who cant get it anywhere else, and get snail-tracked deep into the night. What would you do if you COULDN’T MOVE for fun? Personally I would dose myself with acid daily, and stare at titties.
Stephen, I’m right there with you brother, keep doing your shit, and not caring what people say. You’re a fucking genius and probably richer than god. Haters are just jealous that your 70 year old immobile ass is still getting pussy, and easily smart enough to know how to have a good fucking time.
(Editor’s Note: Can we find a joke that brings up rollerball?)Tweet