Tokyo’s bi-annual Wonder Festival unveiled the future shit we’ve all been waiting for, a real life Mech. That’s Mech, as in Mechwarrior, or a giant robot that a person climbs inside and controls. Or in the case of the real life Mech unveiled in Japan, a mech that you can optionally control with an iPhone.
Almost as if it was a joke, the robot’s weapon systems were previewed using water bottle launchers and Gatling Guns that fire plastic pellets. A pretty girl modeled for the half-satirical video, hyping up the willfully ignorant public for the future robo-tanks we will no doubt use as ground units in conjunction with our flying drone armies in the near future.
‘Kuratas’ was constructed in a hidden mountain lair in Japan by the Suidobashi Heavy Industry Company as an ‘art project,’ and will shoot BB pellets from its gatling guns if it’s ‘smile sensor’ detects even the slighest grin. If all the Gundam fans in the house aren’t wilin’ out enough already, you can actually get in one of these things and use it’s touch-screen and Kinect based sensors to squirt water on your enemies via it’s ‘LOHAS launcher’.
Worried about being blown to bits in a cyborg-robot war of the future? No worries, because all you need to remotely scare the living shit out of people is an iPhone and a 3G signal. If you don’t have an iPhone, you can assume the role of Haitian shaman and initiate the ‘Master Slave Control System’ which let’s you control it’s arms by twiddling around a miniature toy version of Kuratas. All four tons and 13 feet of mechanical glory is available for easy purchase online for $1.4 million, which doesn’t seem too shabby for your very own exoskeleton.
It’s just a matter of time before we’re using them to destroy terrorist Robocops and keep liberals out of our city streets.