It’s going to take me awhile to get back in the swing of things so I’d appreciate your tolerance of anything I might say or do that you could potentially find unintelligible, uninteresting, insulting or just flat out pilfered from a channel 1 news story. You would think I’d have more to say after all of this time away, but truth be told, mama was right.. if you don’t use it, you gonna loose it and right now my brain is like a born again Christian’s hymen waiting to be “unfurled” (my mom was also right that the term “pop her cherry” is disgusting and vulgar.. Also, you can’t even pop cherries; they have pits in them. Through scientific reasoning alone they are, in fact, unpoppable. Why don’t they call it popping her tomato? That I could potentially buy).
also.. it’s saturday.. how the hell do you feel?.. (sorry don’t click on that, i tried to google popping a tomato but instead popping an abscess came up and that obviously is way more interesting..)
THE 1st THING YOU SHOULD LIKE
I hate this grandma’s shoes so much. Every blogger who takes five million photos of herself to show how fantabulous her outfit looks that day, has some abominable version of these shoes. That being said, we can tell from this photo what this woman’s granddaughter does with her afternoons and that she’s trying to use her skewed fashion sense to basically kill her grandma.
Overall i’m going to hope that isn’t the case, and that trendy tallulah actually had a more loving outlook on things when she strapped these deathtraps to grandma gertrude’s feet.. she knew gertie wasn’t keeping up with the kardashians or just wanting her pants back so she decided to show her what’s up and that’s a beautiful thing.. you’re not so bad tallulah, don’t believe everything you read in your comments section.. they’re just jealous gurl..
THE 2nd THING YOU SHOULD LIKE
This is the day the lord hath made.. Let us rejoice and be glad..
THE 3RD THING YOU SHOULD LIKE
i tried to find this video again to show you and googled the following:
- hairy little girl
- hairiest 8 year old
- little girl with hair on her face
- hairy little girl disease
just to be clear, if the internet police come after me, i am not a perv with a hair fettish.. also, i’d like to point out the juxtaposition of the serious british dude’s voice with how perky nikki boyer is to talk about this little girls hair problem; totally inappropriate Daytime, in No Time..
THE 4th THING YOU SHOULD LIKE
meghan foxxx and her high school boyfriend circa when she was in high school
Meghan Foxxx’s first mistake (actually that Marilyn Monroe tattoo was probably her first mistake considering she needed surgery to remove it from her body.. She probably got this guy off her in 10 minutes, tops)
THE 5th THING YOU SHOULD LIKE
meghan fox and david gallagher circa 2003
Meghan Foxxx’s second mistake.. These were too good to choose just one. In case you don’t know who this is, let me fill you in. It’s Simon from 7th Heaven, older brother to Ruthie, younger brother to Lucy, Mary, Matt, and son of the fucking preacher himself. You could have HAD Meghan Fox if you knew her in high school. Take that broad to hot topic, buy her the new avril lavigne cd and swing her by the DQ for an orange Julius.. i know this story all too well.. just kidding, i never listened to avril lavigne!
lot’s of love in sk8ter boys and hemp necklaces,
-Maggie MaeB
Tweet
