The Learning Channel was originally started as a joint informational network by the Department of Health and NASA, and was distributed for free by NASA satellite. It was then privatized and eventually it’s name changed to TLC. The channel aired nature, science, history, current events, medicine, technology, cooking, home improvement and other such fascinating topics. During the mid 1990s they experienced a decline in ratings because there’s a lot of people out there that don’t like learning shit.

TLC, in return, started concentrating more on entertaining the attention depleted masses rather than educating them, so boat safety and home improvement shows were scrapped to make room for 17 Kids and Counting (later 18 Kids and Counting, which later became 19 Kids and Counting, which later became Oh My God Stop Fucking Already) and Cake Boss.

Dicephalic paragus twins, Abigail and Brittany Hensel, are the newest addition to TLC’s entourage of weird ass shows. These 22-year-olds from Minnesota control exactly half of their body each, so growing up they had to cooperate to learn how to crawl, walk, and mosh.

Don’t quote me on this, but I think this basically means they can read each others minds by now. They literally have to work together to do everything, and they can learn and do things at a normal rate and just as fast as a one-header. Pertaining to their sense of touch, if one touches a hot stove the other won’t feel the burn, but this cuts off a little above the bellybutton, so anything under that area they both feel at the same time. Shut up. Shut your mind up right now.

Wikipedia gives us a run-down of their body parts, you know, in case you wanted to write a romantic song about them:

•    2 heads
•    2 spines merging at the coccyx and joined at the thorax by sections of ribs. Surgery was employed to correct scoliosis.
•    2 completely separate spinal cords
•    2 arms (originally 3, but rudimentary central arm was surgically removed, leaving central shoulder blade in place)
•    1 broad ribcage with 2 highly fused sternums and traces of bridging ribs. Surgery was employed to expand the pleural cavities.
•    2 breasts
•    2 hearts in a shared circulatory system (nutrition, respiration, medicine taken by either affects both)
•    4 lungs with the medial lungs moderately fused, not involving Brittany’s upper right lobe; three pleural cavities
•    1 diaphragm with well-coordinated involuntary breathing, slight central defect
•    2 stomachs
•    2 gallbladders
•    1 liver, enlarged and elongated right lobe
•    Y-shaped small intestine, which experiences a slightly spastic double peristalsis at the juncture
•    1 large intestine with one colon
•    3 kidneys: 2 left, 1 right
•    1 bladder
•    1 set of reproductive organs
•    2 separate half-sacrums, which converge distally
•    1 slightly broad pelvis
•    2 legs

Premiering August 28th, “Abbey and Brittany” will follow these good-hearted Midwestern girls on their journey through college, young adulthood, and Europe. Something tells me this show might be TV America’s next guilty pleasure. Can’t wait for the back-to-back marathons of Abbey and Brittany with Honey Boo Boo. Then they will one day both meet, along with the midget family and the cake boss, and start a happy village away from television cameras and live in everlasting eternal bliss. God bless.

GOOSEBUMPS “SCARED TO SEE A DOCTOR” RECORD RELEASE SHOW AT 538 JOHNSON (FULL SETS FROM GOOSEBUMPS, AJAX, MERCENARY, LIBYANS, AND LA MISMA)

Like an episode of Jerry Springer, but with more fireworks.

FIGHT CLUB: THE BEST OF FRIDAY NIGHT THROWDOWN

Following the news of Throwdown’s return at SXSW this year with a Texas vs. NYC event, it seems only appropriate to take a look back at the history of Friday Night Throwdown, and the coverage we’ve had of it here on Superchief over the years. For the uninitiated; Friday Night Throwdown wasn’t just NYC’s best underground boxing event, it was NYC’s best underground party.

TEXAS VS. NYC: THROWDOWN RETURNS AT SXSW THIS YEAR

The organization that brought Ford models, Marines and Bloods together for New York’s best underground party is bringing their business to Austin, and bringing with them a Texas vs. NYC event…and Superchief will be covering the whole thing, from start to finish.

THIS APRIL: SUPERCHIEF GALLERY NYC PRESENTS JOHN FELIX ARNOLD III’S “EXCORRIGIA | THE SCOURGE”

From the world of UNSTOPPABLE TOMORROW, Superchief Gallery NYC returns this spring with John Felix Arnold III’s EXCORRIGIA | THE SCOURGE, an exhibition of new works in painting, drawing, mixed media, installation, and sound. The exhibition will run from April 3 through April 13, and there will be an opening reception on Thursday, April 3 from 6-10pm at CultureFix on 9 Clinton Street.

HIGH ON HUNGER: JANE CHARDIET

“High on Hunger” is Jane Chardiet’s new zine, featuring personal essay, photography and interviews with 12 artists, including some of our favorites, about their 2013 and their artistic goals in the new year, along with photographs of each licking fire. It’s good stuff, so I asked Jane about her 2013, because turnabout’s fair play and that’s how the game works.

12 O’ CLOCK BOYS (BALTIMORE STREETBIKE REALNESS)

Whatever your city is doing, what the homies out in B-More are doing is 10x as crazy. 12 O’ Clock Boys is one of the hardest movies we’ve seen in a long time, hands down, exploring a city and a culture that just doesn’t give a fuck (and featuring Baltimore himies like Schwarz on the soundtrack) the film gets more done in it’s 75 minutes than most documentaries do in twice that.

TAPE BAG #1: I HAVEN’T GOTTEN OFF MY COUCH IN DAYS.

Talking shit on random tapes cuz I wanna. Round one: Mongrel, Skinny Puppy, Madonna, Gowanus Mutant Kommandos, Temple of the Dog and MORE.

R.I.P RICKY LUANDA OF CHAIN GANG

Ricky Luanda of the experimental NYC punk band Chain Gang, one of the coolest bands ever, passed away earlier this week from esophogeal cancer. Watch 10 minutes of the bands’ rare, legendary, batshit crazy 1980′s film “MONDO MANHATTAN” right here.

ALWAYS KEEP THE CAMERA RUNNING: MAKS SUSKI’S VIDEOS OF THE NYC MUSIC SCENE

Maks Suski has been hard at work documenting live music in NYC on video for the last 4 years; we asked him to compile a list of some of his favorite videos that he’s shot, a list that includes Japanther, Action Bronson, Death Grips, Culo, Crystal Castles, Limp Wrist, Black Pus and more.

THERE IS A TINY LEG A QUARTER OF AN INCH BELOW YOUR TENTH RIB.

“Although Tiny Leg’s sound owes much of it’s inspiration to the Oakland glucose and thumbtrack scenes of the mid-nineties, and has been called by HotFridge magazine ‘a thumbcore homage to the sound of Velvet Curtis and Taco’ and ‘a slick-stale, neo-juicy, post-hipster alchemy, somewhere in between gluke-wave and puke-base’ by PeckerwoodsToday, those sentences are too journalistic and not souague enough, if one may permit my french.”

DAWN OF HUMANS, HANK WOOD & THE HAMMERHEADS, AND PHARMAKON PLAYED PS1 SATURDAY NIGHT (FULL SETS)

PUNK NOT ART NOISE NOT MUSIC ACK ACK ACK ACK

TOD SEELIE’S “BRIGHT NIGHTS” BOOK RELEASE & PHOTO SHOW AT SUPERCHIEF GALLERY AT CULTUREFIX (VIDEO)

Tod Seelie’s book release and photo show at Superchief Gallery at CultureFix was a celebration of the last 15 years of New York’s underground, for sure; but it also kept an eye on the future.

FUCKED UP CLOSED OUT 285 KENT’S LAST SHOW (FULL SET)

285 Kent finished it’s run last Sunday night; check out full video of Fucked Up’s headlining set right here.

SUPERCHIEF GALLERY AT MIAMI ART BASEL 2013: WILL SMITH CAN SUCK IT.

Superchief Gallery’s showing at Select Fair 2013 is even bigger, better and more batshit crazy than our 2012 showing was – check out photos here, and for homies in Miami, we’ll be at the Catalina Hotel all this week!

STACY KRANITZ’S SKATOPIA (50+ Photos From a Burnout’s Paradise)

Photographer Stacy Kranitz recently journeyed to Skatopia, a famed 88 acre skate park/commune in Ohio which was founded in 1995, documented in the 2010 film of the same name, and once described by writer Kevin Duffel as “a demented mess that meets halfway between an anarchistic Mad Maxian Thunderdome and a utopian skateboard society.” Goddamn if it isn’t one of the best things we’ve ever seen.