The Learning Channel was originally started as a joint informational network by the Department of Health and NASA, and was distributed for free by NASA satellite. It was then privatized and eventually it’s name changed to TLC. The channel aired nature, science, history, current events, medicine, technology, cooking, home improvement and other such fascinating topics. During the mid 1990s they experienced a decline in ratings because there’s a lot of people out there that don’t like learning shit.
TLC, in return, started concentrating more on entertaining the attention depleted masses rather than educating them, so boat safety and home improvement shows were scrapped to make room for 17 Kids and Counting (later 18 Kids and Counting, which later became 19 Kids and Counting, which later became Oh My God Stop Fucking Already) and Cake Boss.
Dicephalic paragus twins, Abigail and Brittany Hensel, are the newest addition to TLC’s entourage of weird ass shows. These 22-year-olds from Minnesota control exactly half of their body each, so growing up they had to cooperate to learn how to crawl, walk, and mosh.
Don’t quote me on this, but I think this basically means they can read each others minds by now. They literally have to work together to do everything, and they can learn and do things at a normal rate and just as fast as a one-header. Pertaining to their sense of touch, if one touches a hot stove the other won’t feel the burn, but this cuts off a little above the bellybutton, so anything under that area they both feel at the same time. Shut up. Shut your mind up right now.
Wikipedia gives us a run-down of their body parts, you know, in case you wanted to write a romantic song about them:
• 2 heads
• 2 spines merging at the coccyx and joined at the thorax by sections of ribs. Surgery was employed to correct scoliosis.
• 2 completely separate spinal cords
• 2 arms (originally 3, but rudimentary central arm was surgically removed, leaving central shoulder blade in place)
• 1 broad ribcage with 2 highly fused sternums and traces of bridging ribs. Surgery was employed to expand the pleural cavities.
• 2 breasts
• 2 hearts in a shared circulatory system (nutrition, respiration, medicine taken by either affects both)
• 4 lungs with the medial lungs moderately fused, not involving Brittany’s upper right lobe; three pleural cavities
• 1 diaphragm with well-coordinated involuntary breathing, slight central defect
• 2 stomachs
• 2 gallbladders
• 1 liver, enlarged and elongated right lobe
• Y-shaped small intestine, which experiences a slightly spastic double peristalsis at the juncture
• 1 large intestine with one colon
• 3 kidneys: 2 left, 1 right
• 1 bladder
• 1 set of reproductive organs
• 2 separate half-sacrums, which converge distally
• 1 slightly broad pelvis
• 2 legs
Premiering August 28th, “Abbey and Brittany” will follow these good-hearted Midwestern girls on their journey through college, young adulthood, and Europe. Something tells me this show might be TV America’s next guilty pleasure. Can’t wait for the back-to-back marathons of Abbey and Brittany with Honey Boo Boo. Then they will one day both meet, along with the midget family and the cake boss, and start a happy village away from television cameras and live in everlasting eternal bliss. God bless.Tweet