But first, let's take this opportunity to remember what a great movie “Kung Pow: Enter the Fist” was. Okay, now let's move on.

I think we all know that America is a weird place. I mean, I could pull up a few WorldStarHipHop videos, but you already know what I'm talking about.

So let's take a moment to observe a couple ways the rest of the world is losing their shit. Namely, those guys in Europe worrying about drunk drivers, accidentally growing out one side of their chest and crying weapon-wielding thieves. Just because hearing about weird shit happening in other countries is never bad.

To start it off, if only to further employ the stereotype, the council of County Kerry, a rural county in southwest Ireland has voted in favor of having residents having a higher legal blood alcohol content/concentration while driving in the county.

The man behind the proposal, Danny Healy-Rae, who's a pub owner himself, used the argumens that many of the residents of Kerry County are people that have to drive to and from work from home because of the county's lack of public transportation are experiencing depression because of the fact that they simply go home and look “at the same four walls”. He offers that if they, and the older generation who stay at home, were able to go to the pub freely, without worrying about losing their driver's license, they'd be a lot happier.

Another thing he offers is that a lot of the work in the county is farming and that these farmers that drive usually drive tractors that move too slow to pose any real threat to themselves or other drivers if driven while intoxicated. Not only this, but he states that Kerry County is looking into implementing a 30MPH speed limit because of drunk drivers. Finally, he argues that a lot of the suicide in the area is due to the fact that the only option the people of Kerry County have is the grab some liquor on the way home and get drink alone at home. I mean, not like people also die due to drunk driving or anything, right?

Well, whether or not you agree with him, the motion has been approved by the local council, even though it's not that surprising: three of the five who voted in favor are pub owners, three voted against, and the rest of the council members,  nineteen of them, were absent or abstained. However, now the motion is moved Minister of Justice Alan Shatter who will decide whether or not to take it up with the Irish government or not.

Moving on, soldiers in Germany is growing boobs on one side of their body. That's right, one boob. Apparently there's a name for that: one-sided gynecomastia.

The soldiers are apparently having their chests swell up due to their drills. If you watch the video, you'll see that there's a lot of striking of the chest with their rifles and this stimulates the mammary glands which produce hormones that grow the chest area. Don't take any tips, ladies, you definitely shouldn't go out buying heavy rifles just to slap them against your chest just because you want to go up a cup size.

Unfortunately, the condition has stricken about three-quarters of the soldiers in the Wachbataillon unit and it's gotten so bad that a lot of them have to go through plastic surgery. Breast reduction surgery for men is usually a bad thing, but experts say that if the drills are modified, this condition could be prevented.

And who doesn't love hearing about clerks being saved from a stick-up because of the overpowering influence of human emotion? Hopefully you do love it, because this isn't the only recent case of it.

Anyway, a masked thief attempted to rob a gas station in Oldenberg, Germany last week. At first, the clerk, Robert B., thought the man was “muffled up” because of the cold weather, but then the thief demanded that Robert give up the money in the cash register. Robert then responded by locking the doors to the store electronically and signaling the alarm for the police. The fearless clerk also reached for a baseball bat he used to hit this guy over the head a few times before he apparently broke down into tears:

This would-be-thief obviously picked the wrong gas station to steal from. A signal for the police and a badass with a baseball bat behind the counter does not make for the perfect store to rob from. Upon breaking down, he also said that he asked that the clerk let him go and that he had a wife and kids. The compassionate badass he is, he decides to let him go and even offers him a tissue. It was later learned by the police that he was lying and that he was just going to use the money for drugs. So if he didn't look pretty pitiful already, I think this makes him look worse than the Papa John's guy.

Goddammit, Europe.

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Where are my parents?

GOOSEBUMPS “SCARED TO SEE A DOCTOR” RECORD RELEASE SHOW AT 538 JOHNSON (FULL SETS FROM GOOSEBUMPS, AJAX, MERCENARY, LIBYANS, AND LA MISMA)

Like an episode of Jerry Springer, but with more fireworks.

FIGHT CLUB: THE BEST OF FRIDAY NIGHT THROWDOWN

Following the news of Throwdown’s return at SXSW this year with a Texas vs. NYC event, it seems only appropriate to take a look back at the history of Friday Night Throwdown, and the coverage we’ve had of it here on Superchief over the years. For the uninitiated; Friday Night Throwdown wasn’t just NYC’s best underground boxing event, it was NYC’s best underground party.

TEXAS VS. NYC: THROWDOWN RETURNS AT SXSW THIS YEAR

The organization that brought Ford models, Marines and Bloods together for New York’s best underground party is bringing their business to Austin, and bringing with them a Texas vs. NYC event…and Superchief will be covering the whole thing, from start to finish.

THIS APRIL: SUPERCHIEF GALLERY NYC PRESENTS JOHN FELIX ARNOLD III’S “EXCORRIGIA | THE SCOURGE”

From the world of UNSTOPPABLE TOMORROW, Superchief Gallery NYC returns this spring with John Felix Arnold III’s EXCORRIGIA | THE SCOURGE, an exhibition of new works in painting, drawing, mixed media, installation, and sound. The exhibition will run from April 3 through April 13, and there will be an opening reception on Thursday, April 3 from 6-10pm at CultureFix on 9 Clinton Street.

HIGH ON HUNGER: JANE CHARDIET

“High on Hunger” is Jane Chardiet’s new zine, featuring personal essay, photography and interviews with 12 artists, including some of our favorites, about their 2013 and their artistic goals in the new year, along with photographs of each licking fire. It’s good stuff, so I asked Jane about her 2013, because turnabout’s fair play and that’s how the game works.

12 O’ CLOCK BOYS (BALTIMORE STREETBIKE REALNESS)

Whatever your city is doing, what the homies out in B-More are doing is 10x as crazy. 12 O’ Clock Boys is one of the hardest movies we’ve seen in a long time, hands down, exploring a city and a culture that just doesn’t give a fuck (and featuring Baltimore himies like Schwarz on the soundtrack) the film gets more done in it’s 75 minutes than most documentaries do in twice that.

TAPE BAG #1: I HAVEN’T GOTTEN OFF MY COUCH IN DAYS.

Talking shit on random tapes cuz I wanna. Round one: Mongrel, Skinny Puppy, Madonna, Gowanus Mutant Kommandos, Temple of the Dog and MORE.

R.I.P RICKY LUANDA OF CHAIN GANG

Ricky Luanda of the experimental NYC punk band Chain Gang, one of the coolest bands ever, passed away earlier this week from esophogeal cancer. Watch 10 minutes of the bands’ rare, legendary, batshit crazy 1980′s film “MONDO MANHATTAN” right here.

ALWAYS KEEP THE CAMERA RUNNING: MAKS SUSKI’S VIDEOS OF THE NYC MUSIC SCENE

Maks Suski has been hard at work documenting live music in NYC on video for the last 4 years; we asked him to compile a list of some of his favorite videos that he’s shot, a list that includes Japanther, Action Bronson, Death Grips, Culo, Crystal Castles, Limp Wrist, Black Pus and more.

THERE IS A TINY LEG A QUARTER OF AN INCH BELOW YOUR TENTH RIB.

“Although Tiny Leg’s sound owes much of it’s inspiration to the Oakland glucose and thumbtrack scenes of the mid-nineties, and has been called by HotFridge magazine ‘a thumbcore homage to the sound of Velvet Curtis and Taco’ and ‘a slick-stale, neo-juicy, post-hipster alchemy, somewhere in between gluke-wave and puke-base’ by PeckerwoodsToday, those sentences are too journalistic and not souague enough, if one may permit my french.”

DAWN OF HUMANS, HANK WOOD & THE HAMMERHEADS, AND PHARMAKON PLAYED PS1 SATURDAY NIGHT (FULL SETS)

PUNK NOT ART NOISE NOT MUSIC ACK ACK ACK ACK

TOD SEELIE’S “BRIGHT NIGHTS” BOOK RELEASE & PHOTO SHOW AT SUPERCHIEF GALLERY AT CULTUREFIX (VIDEO)

Tod Seelie’s book release and photo show at Superchief Gallery at CultureFix was a celebration of the last 15 years of New York’s underground, for sure; but it also kept an eye on the future.

FUCKED UP CLOSED OUT 285 KENT’S LAST SHOW (FULL SET)

285 Kent finished it’s run last Sunday night; check out full video of Fucked Up’s headlining set right here.

SUPERCHIEF GALLERY AT MIAMI ART BASEL 2013: WILL SMITH CAN SUCK IT.

Superchief Gallery’s showing at Select Fair 2013 is even bigger, better and more batshit crazy than our 2012 showing was – check out photos here, and for homies in Miami, we’ll be at the Catalina Hotel all this week!

STACY KRANITZ’S SKATOPIA (50+ Photos From a Burnout’s Paradise)

Photographer Stacy Kranitz recently journeyed to Skatopia, a famed 88 acre skate park/commune in Ohio which was founded in 1995, documented in the 2010 film of the same name, and once described by writer Kevin Duffel as “a demented mess that meets halfway between an anarchistic Mad Maxian Thunderdome and a utopian skateboard society.” Goddamn if it isn’t one of the best things we’ve ever seen.