Dear Superchief,

I love to write you, honey. But when I first came back from my five month hiatus I wanted to retire UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE. The editors wanted me to bring it back but I was hesitant. If you’ve been reading Superchief for more than a year then you should remember about a year ago I took over the whole site with my insanity. I spent most of the summer of 2011 making videos about how to become a complete degenerate fuck-up.

OH, Yeah, and I went all the way with that. By the end of the year my dad kicked me out of the house. My uncle was kind enough to let me live in his house out in Vienna, Virginia, because my mother couldn’t stand to see me living on the streets.

_____________________ The thing about UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE was that it was a way for me to really just be honest. Deathly honest, humiliatingly honest … I embarrassed myself and I reviled in it … I eviscerated myself for our readership, cut my guts out … I took a shit in my hand and smeared it all over my face and did a self-portrait (figuratively speaking) ….

… A few months ago I was trying to get a 9 to 5 job. A normal job. So, I started freaking out about insane things I’ve posted, and I erased some of my best old posts. Now I am regretting it. Anyways, the infamous VICE MAGAZINE article with Zipco’s picture of my naked ass will never go away, so there’s no point hiding my past from a future employer …

Needless to say, by the end of 2011 I succeeded in completely destroying my life. I had no job and no friends in DC (where I’m from). I traded in my 2006 Jetta for a 2001 Passat and some cash to buy weed and an iPad. With the left-over monies I came up to New York to throw myself a party at the lofts at Dobbin st. The legendary Andy P. Smith, was kind enough to host the bash in his cavernous cave of cavyness, and yes, it made me feel rather special that Jah Jah from Ninjasonik and all my favorite crazy friends were there. I could almost forget my life was a trainwreck.

At some point during the night the venerable Andy P. Smith and I began head-butting one another, which turned into a full-on battering ram competition. I blacked out right around when people started hitting the swing bolted to the ceiling in the middle of the room. Needless to say, I woke up with the worst headache of my entire life. But at that point waking up at all was a headache. Honestly, I didn’t want to wake up any more. I hated myself. I viewed myself as a waste of a human being. And I just wanted to be high and drunk all the time. I didn’t want to feel anything any more. I went back [home] to DC before I outstayed my welcome at Dobbin street and commenced living at my uncle’s house, smoking weed all day and night in the bungalow next to the pool in the backyard. I remember the crisp cool winter air in my lungs, burning. Eventually I develop a tolerance and I don’t really get high any more. I was just maintaining, trying as hard as possible not to feel or face any consciousness or awareness of my bleak situation. The only good part was that I got to hang out with my little cousin whom i rarely see. It’s amazing how many kids shows you can enjoy when you’re high. By the way, Have You Ever watched YO GABBA GABBA on weed? Some weiiiiirrrrd shit man …

CUT TO:

FEBRUARY 14, 2012:

I don’t really remember how it happened but I’m on the plane to rehab with my mom and my sister. I remember having a ton of weed nuggets in my wallet and dumping it out on the ground at the airport. Bye Bye green babies … at some point before I went to rehab I also went nuts on Xanax and booze, blackouts, breaking shit, scaring the shit out of my family. It was ugly. Really ugly. It had to end.

<<The only times I wandered out of the house in months was if I ran out of pot or this one time when I screwed this blonde who hit me up on OKCupid. She had a thing for Marines, of course, I played it up as much as possible, though it wasn’t easy considering it’s been a solid six years now since I wore the uniform. In the end she was like, “Wait,  you’re just a pot-head I don’t want to go out with You!”>>>

In the end, “SILVER HILL Hospital” REHAB was basically a really cushy and comfortable, expensive 1 month AA meeting living in a big fancy house with other addicts and alcoholics. You got maid service and excellent food and the staff would pat you on the back for just staying put and staying sober (not flipping out and going and getting fucked up) for a solid month. SOP there is that after a month you’re discharged, but they usually recommend some kind of “after care.” And there’s group therapy and stuff, I don’t really remember I was still sort of in a haze.

After Silver Hill I was sent to a residential treatment program out here in Orange County, California. It was a more intense group therapy setting where you sit around getting grilled by counselors in front of a bunch of other alcoholics and addicts. They definitely call you out on your bullshit. And you must go to some kind of 12-step meeting every day. After four months in the residential treatment I was pretty burnt out on the whole goddamn therapy deal. I parted ways with the treatment program. I was sort of sick of them and they were sort of sick of me. But it was generally amicable. And the point was accomplished. I’m sober. I get the point. Don’t drink or use no matter what. I moved into a nice “sober living” house here in Costa Mesa, which is not on the water but just a stone throw away from the peninsula of Newport Beach. Basically it’s just a nice house on a quiet street in Sunny Southern California. The only difference between our house and others is that we don’t drink and we get piss-tested once every three days, which I’m thankful for. I’m comfortable in my sobriety, but it’s a good added security measure, if you will.

So it’s been more than six months now since I dumped out that weed onto the ground at National Airport [in DC] and I have not consumed a drink or a drug.

Woop de doo! I guess I’m supposed to feel proud of myself. But I’m still kinda lazy. I’m putting things in order to go back to college (for the umpteenth time) using my veterans benefits. (At least dodging bullets in Iraq paid off in the end!)

Hopefully, if I stay sober it will be a more successful endeavor this time. It will help if I’m not stoned and drunk as shit every day. I’m not one of those people that can “multitask” like all y’all at SUPERCHIEF. That just ain’t me. Trust me, I tried. A couple times. Okay, many times.

Now, of course I can live through you all vicariously! (Thanks to XAVIER VEAL’s photographic artistry.)

RAJAI HAKKI

22 AUG 2012

GOOSEBUMPS “SCARED TO SEE A DOCTOR” RECORD RELEASE SHOW AT 538 JOHNSON (FULL SETS FROM GOOSEBUMPS, AJAX, MERCENARY, LIBYANS, AND LA MISMA)

Like an episode of Jerry Springer, but with more fireworks.

FIGHT CLUB: THE BEST OF FRIDAY NIGHT THROWDOWN

Following the news of Throwdown’s return at SXSW this year with a Texas vs. NYC event, it seems only appropriate to take a look back at the history of Friday Night Throwdown, and the coverage we’ve had of it here on Superchief over the years. For the uninitiated; Friday Night Throwdown wasn’t just NYC’s best underground boxing event, it was NYC’s best underground party.

TEXAS VS. NYC: THROWDOWN RETURNS AT SXSW THIS YEAR

The organization that brought Ford models, Marines and Bloods together for New York’s best underground party is bringing their business to Austin, and bringing with them a Texas vs. NYC event…and Superchief will be covering the whole thing, from start to finish.

THIS APRIL: SUPERCHIEF GALLERY NYC PRESENTS JOHN FELIX ARNOLD III’S “EXCORRIGIA | THE SCOURGE”

From the world of UNSTOPPABLE TOMORROW, Superchief Gallery NYC returns this spring with John Felix Arnold III’s EXCORRIGIA | THE SCOURGE, an exhibition of new works in painting, drawing, mixed media, installation, and sound. The exhibition will run from April 3 through April 13, and there will be an opening reception on Thursday, April 3 from 6-10pm at CultureFix on 9 Clinton Street.

HIGH ON HUNGER: JANE CHARDIET

“High on Hunger” is Jane Chardiet’s new zine, featuring personal essay, photography and interviews with 12 artists, including some of our favorites, about their 2013 and their artistic goals in the new year, along with photographs of each licking fire. It’s good stuff, so I asked Jane about her 2013, because turnabout’s fair play and that’s how the game works.

12 O’ CLOCK BOYS (BALTIMORE STREETBIKE REALNESS)

Whatever your city is doing, what the homies out in B-More are doing is 10x as crazy. 12 O’ Clock Boys is one of the hardest movies we’ve seen in a long time, hands down, exploring a city and a culture that just doesn’t give a fuck (and featuring Baltimore himies like Schwarz on the soundtrack) the film gets more done in it’s 75 minutes than most documentaries do in twice that.

TAPE BAG #1: I HAVEN’T GOTTEN OFF MY COUCH IN DAYS.

Talking shit on random tapes cuz I wanna. Round one: Mongrel, Skinny Puppy, Madonna, Gowanus Mutant Kommandos, Temple of the Dog and MORE.

R.I.P RICKY LUANDA OF CHAIN GANG

Ricky Luanda of the experimental NYC punk band Chain Gang, one of the coolest bands ever, passed away earlier this week from esophogeal cancer. Watch 10 minutes of the bands’ rare, legendary, batshit crazy 1980′s film “MONDO MANHATTAN” right here.

ALWAYS KEEP THE CAMERA RUNNING: MAKS SUSKI’S VIDEOS OF THE NYC MUSIC SCENE

Maks Suski has been hard at work documenting live music in NYC on video for the last 4 years; we asked him to compile a list of some of his favorite videos that he’s shot, a list that includes Japanther, Action Bronson, Death Grips, Culo, Crystal Castles, Limp Wrist, Black Pus and more.

THERE IS A TINY LEG A QUARTER OF AN INCH BELOW YOUR TENTH RIB.

“Although Tiny Leg’s sound owes much of it’s inspiration to the Oakland glucose and thumbtrack scenes of the mid-nineties, and has been called by HotFridge magazine ‘a thumbcore homage to the sound of Velvet Curtis and Taco’ and ‘a slick-stale, neo-juicy, post-hipster alchemy, somewhere in between gluke-wave and puke-base’ by PeckerwoodsToday, those sentences are too journalistic and not souague enough, if one may permit my french.”

DAWN OF HUMANS, HANK WOOD & THE HAMMERHEADS, AND PHARMAKON PLAYED PS1 SATURDAY NIGHT (FULL SETS)

PUNK NOT ART NOISE NOT MUSIC ACK ACK ACK ACK

TOD SEELIE’S “BRIGHT NIGHTS” BOOK RELEASE & PHOTO SHOW AT SUPERCHIEF GALLERY AT CULTUREFIX (VIDEO)

Tod Seelie’s book release and photo show at Superchief Gallery at CultureFix was a celebration of the last 15 years of New York’s underground, for sure; but it also kept an eye on the future.

FUCKED UP CLOSED OUT 285 KENT’S LAST SHOW (FULL SET)

285 Kent finished it’s run last Sunday night; check out full video of Fucked Up’s headlining set right here.

SUPERCHIEF GALLERY AT MIAMI ART BASEL 2013: WILL SMITH CAN SUCK IT.

Superchief Gallery’s showing at Select Fair 2013 is even bigger, better and more batshit crazy than our 2012 showing was – check out photos here, and for homies in Miami, we’ll be at the Catalina Hotel all this week!

STACY KRANITZ’S SKATOPIA (50+ Photos From a Burnout’s Paradise)

Photographer Stacy Kranitz recently journeyed to Skatopia, a famed 88 acre skate park/commune in Ohio which was founded in 1995, documented in the 2010 film of the same name, and once described by writer Kevin Duffel as “a demented mess that meets halfway between an anarchistic Mad Maxian Thunderdome and a utopian skateboard society.” Goddamn if it isn’t one of the best things we’ve ever seen.