Being from the Bronx, I was pretty used to getting hollered at and honked at by cabs who want to “take me home”, so when the Indian driver softly said, “Need a cab sweetie? I take you.” I told him I had no money to take a cab and continued walking until he asked the strangest question I have ever heard come out of a cab driver’s mouth: “Do you have nice feet?”
Dear Superchief: On a warm summer night, a cab driver asked to suck on my feet in exchange for a free ride.
I was jailed in the Bronx for no good reason for nearly 3 days. Here’s my long-ass story detailing it all.
And I wanted to be the sperm donor par excellence: I already looked into buying a gym membership, quitting smoking, and just doing everything I can to make my body into a gamete factory for all the single career women in the world to benefit from.
On one side was one of his signature drawings… on the other side however… were his phone number, email address, and the message, “Hi you could be my girlfriend come true; I am a single gentleman interested in dating a beautiful woman such as you!”
I walked back to my friend’s birthday party, where I was greeted with a chorus of “what-the-fuck”s. I proceeded to explain, some people high-fived me, others turned away when I tried to say hello. This is what I recalled…
This is not the Dear Supechief we want, it’s the one we deserve.
In my cousin S’s Brezhnev-era dorm room this summer, we found ourselves underwhelmed by Porter, his esoteric cat who enjoys ambient drone music much more than I do, and set out craving adventure or attention or what have you. Walking among decaying “blok” apartment buildings, we reached a gas station and went inside to buy [...]
Our friend, whose name will remain anonymous, has terrible parents. They told him that they were taking him on a cruise, and instead forcibly took him to a gay reform camp in Virginia. Kidnapping your gay kids and sending them to gay reform camp is perfectly legal in America, as highlighted in the documentary Kidnapped for Christ. Below is the story in his words, from getting his hopes up for a cruise to the Bahamas, escaping gay camp in Virginia, and escaping back to New York. Jesus Christ, America.
DEAR SUPERCHIEF: I was arrested for filming in public and held in jail for 9 hours on $5000 bail in a french maid costume
By: Lindsey Wainwright Superchief Contributer Photo credit to Occupy Hartford media DEAR SUPERCHIEF, I was arrested on April 20th, 2012 following an Occupy Hartford street theater action called “Clean the Banks.” We dressed up and brought cleaning supplies to Bank of America and Wells Fargo at State House Plaza, handing out pamphlets along the [...]
(All Photo Credits to Brian Broderick, Except the two shit ones of the busted laptop, which were taken by the author) I woke up this past Sunday around 10 am feeling like straight shit. The night before I had drank my usual amount of beers for a Saturday, but ate a few Benzos for good [...]
(Photo Credit: Tod Seelie) I’ve learned something important about myself this weekend. I officially have no regard for my physical well-being whatsoever. I’ve put my life at risk on consecutive weekends (blacking out and ending up with broken bones, playing frogger on Houston Street, jumping off balconies, etc). It’s easier to laugh about everything than [...]
Dear Superchief, Is it weird that the proudest moment in my life revolved around piss? I don’t think so. And if you knew me, you wouldn’t either. I’ve peed on many things in my life; door handles, the inside of sneakers, garbage pails, doorknobs, toilet tanks, my girlfriend while we’re in the shower (she doesn’t [...]
Hey Superchief, so this is what happened to me on December 17, Occupy Wall Street’s “Occupation 2.0″ to mark the 3-month anniversary of Occupy Wall Street. It all started down at Duarte Park, with faith leaders from all over gathering and holding a General Assembly. They were discussing an empty lot. After the GA I [...]
Dear Superchief, I go to the south quite often. I don’t really go to strip clubs much though. But sometimes life throws you a curve ball. Last year, a bunch of people decided to go to Louisville for the Kentucky Derby. I, personally, don’t give a shit about the Kentucky Derby, but I’m never one [...]
Dear Superchief, I woke up last Saturday laying on a loveseat, tangled in a fitted bedsheet. My neck was wrecked, my arms sore as fuck, and I was almost positive my throat was bleeding. I ripped the sheet off, and looked down at my shirt, it was covered in blood spray. Confused, I tried to [...]
i beg anonymous or whatever other hackatvists that arent too busy fucking with my playstation account to please stop my parents from doing shit like this online. i got this on my rss feed this morning, saw their faces, saw what they were doing, and now i cant eat my fucking breakfast. ughhhhhhh curse word [...]
DEAR SUPERCHIEF, Flamboyant drag queens are for sure the friendliest, most polite and pleased to meet you folk I have ever encountered. They know their tunes and they know how to party. With 8 inch heels, wigs, themed costumes and smiles, they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. She got style, she got class, [...]
A GLOBAL PEACEFUL CHANGE. I thought it would be appropriate to send SUPERCHIEF pictures of the 15M- Peaceful Movement in Madrid, I took them. They show how people got together with a common feeling about how to make changes. That if you really want to, and if you have the courage to make that change, [...]
Dear Superchief, The other night I was uptown on the West Side so I decided to hang out in Central Park. I was getting bored sitting around at 72nd street trying to catch a glimpse one of the many couple make out sessions gone too far. I didn’t really get to see shit and it [...]
Above, a stray cat party on the beach in front of the Steel Pier. The north end of AC has the largest concentration of stray cats in New Jersey. The predicted apocalypse did not strike Atlantic City this weekend, and the Golden Nugget casino moved into town. A mile away, the unfinished Revel casino, a [...]