SUPERCHIEF.tv

Is it weird if I like this as much as Salem or Tobacco?

Come get down this Monday for the second installation of my new dopeeeeee fucking party at Home Sweet Home.  Crypto-Night!  Myself (Cool Hand Luke), Dirtyfinger, and HALF PRICED, I REPEAT, HALF-PRICED, drinks ALL NIGHT.  Ya dig?

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=142962052405502&ref=ts

We’re tearing Legion a new butt hole this Friday.

No Cover
Drink Specials
21+

LINEUP-

Rev McFly (Ninjasonik)

Mr. Andersonic

Cool Hand Luke (TrifeLife/Nightspitter/PartyXPO)

DJ Johnny Sierra (The Death Set)

DJ Nine Lives The Cat (The Death Set)

Plus special guest appearances by Michael Vick, Lester Diamond and the ghost of Nicole Brown Simpson.

buck buck buck.

BANGERS PROJECT starts tonight.  Hosted by Cool Hand Luke X Trifelife.  We got bottles…  No Cover.  21+.  At Gallery Bar on Orchard by Delancey.

2 for 1 margaritas from 10-12

Lineup-

Cool Hand Luke (TrifeLife/Nightspitter/PartyXPO)

Anton Glamb (Radical Outing)

WCKids (Weathy Ho$tage/Mota)

Skitsnygg (Radical Outing)

plus a special performance by dancehall artist Platnum Star.

No lie, I’ve seen all this Justin Bieber fever shit happening, but I haven’t understood what the hell made him so famous. I woke up this morning with Paula Abdul “Straight Up” stuck in my head. When 80s synth is dance party in your frontal lobes at hungover 10 am, the best thing to do is get up. If you wait it out, it’ll only get worse. Eat some tainted eggs, hope for the best and than sojourn to youtube on your own time. Watch Paula. Think about the backup dancer’s hat… and that coat. Anyway, the powers of the internet led me to the Biebs vid. Biebs sounds like Babs.

America has created a persona that is the opposite of Osama Bin Laden. He’s like everything we’re not afraid of in the form of an effeminate teenage boy, which shows how afraid we are. At least in my time, there were the Backstreet Boys or whatever. There were 5 of them, so there was potential for a gang-bang. Also, they had strict personality traits, including the Italian one who had threatening facial hair.

Alas, since the world is going to end in 2 years and everyone in Venezuela will be murdered, unknown authorities are offsetting the national sentiment with Justin Bieber. His most popular “song” or whatever is this one with Ludacris, which fucks me up because it’s like watching Luda on Shinning Time Station. Over 300 million people have seen the thing, which is basically the national population including Iraq. The best part of Bieber is that he looks exactly like a lesbian. I couldn’t even hate him, it was like Hillary Swank via Park Slope was crooning to me. I would let her suck the clit. So would 300 million other people. It’s also funny that he’s such a dyke (pardon my French) because young girls are attracted to other girls, or guys who look like girls, before they start recognizing masculinity as sexy.  It’s like a government media genius, children’s sexual psychologist came in and fucking designed Justin Bieber. And now my 9 year old won’t stop masturbating.

HAPPY BDAY BILL!!

I was watching some “It’s Always Sunny” reruns on Comedy Central last night when I saw this HP commercial with Dr. Dre:

like what the fuck was that? seriously. There’s an astronomical amount of bullshit happening all over this commercial.

I mean there’s no way Dre was excited about shooting this futuristic nonsense, right? I don’t see him being all like, “HELL YEAH, ALL THAT SHIT IS ENTIRELY NECESSARY TO SELL COMPUTERS. THE FACE GUARD? THE FLOATING TRAY? THE ROBOT COMPUTER ROOM THAT WILL NEVER EVER EXIST ANYWHERE? DAMN, YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKIN GENIUSES!” Not a chance.

The old Dre woulda slapped a bitch for trying to get him to act in some crap like this, best balee dat. Here’s your proof:

unnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I made a youtube channel of the worst songs I could possibly find that were also popular among some idiots. I’ll be giving you some highlights because you’re so fucking lucky.

some thoughts:

-David Letterman can suck my choad
-this whole band looks like 90’s mall culture. to all their toddler fans, I should mention, we already did this stuff, only we had placebo and nine inch nails, which were slightly cooler
-check out the keyboard monkey and his stupid face at 0:29. he looks like he’s got this horrible faggy “inside joke” face going on, like he’s secretly in love with the guitarist
-the fucking X’s in tape on their jackets and shit are killing me. you guys are supposedly successful musicians, you should be able to afford better decoration than tape
-the keyboard goblin is using at least a grand’s worth of synthesizer equipment to essentially bang a stick to simulate a really easy bass line. talk about form over function, how about playing the bass, or just playing the fucking keyboard you have right in front of you? fucking butthead.
-these two guitarists have eighty seven pedals between the two of them and their strumming the same four notes without any change in tone or pedal. if you KNOW you’re playing one song, do you really need all that shit?
-dear singer: it’s possible to use your voice in different notes and octaves and to modulate your weird robot tone. it’s called singing.
-also, cut your fucking hair macy gray

in short, this song is incredibly boring but these jackanapes are so fucking smug it makes me want revenge. these guys could have just walked on stage, started a drum machine and three samplers and put a speak and say next to the mike and gone back to the green room for more wheat thins and vitamin water.

FUCK YOU DICKLICKS I’M GOING HOME

FAMOUS CLASS ACTION MIXTAPE VOL. 1 – DJ MR. A*OK
1. Ballin in Step Class (Mr. A*OK mix) – Project Pat
2. Crystal Cubes – The Huxtables
3. Walk With a Dip – Louisiana Ca$h
4. O Lets Do It – Wacka Flocka Flame
5. Thomas Bruso Speaks
6. M.E. – Gary Numan
7. Jumpfast – DJ C
8. Make Crack Like This (Mr. A*OK ghetto mix) – Master P
9. Smoke Some High Grade – Busy Signal
10. Darlings chillin
11. When Your X Wants You Back – Dina
12.Take it Slow – Snakes Say Hiss
12. I Got A Hangover – Attitude feat. Jackie Chain
13. <3 Bats
14. I Was a Teenage Werewolf – The Cramps
15. Track 03 – Tony Castles
16. Rubber Band Man (Jamie Ayers Mix) – T.I.

DOWNLOAD THEES SHEET!

I was gonna go to bed and then I lost my shit over this band that sounds like raw punk Crass.

02/23/10
From MRR #322: “OK? – “This Is Only a Test” EP”
This band was stirring up a pretty substantial buzz in my world over the couple of weeks leading up to their San Francisco show…and then I get to top it off with a new EP? Consider this fellow stoked. This San Diego band is perhaps the best bit of early 80s UK-anarcho-punk worship produced in the last two decades; they nail the atypical Crass Records style so perfectly that this record defies me to make any other comparisons. Laissez-Faire as an A-side is a brilliantly wordy, charging jam and the flip follows suit. . .after comparing this to the classics and saying it rules, I am pretty much at a loss. This just rules, get it. (WN)”

Hit up Colin at Life’s a Rape for copies: colinrrmf@yahoo.com

Download it here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?jmgj2wmzmte

Whack and Gilded Age were sick, it was a going away party for my friend.

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My buddy Denisse and I dodged a couple of chairs, another one didn’t and passed out, shit was insane, cops trying to mase everyone in sight, heard a couple of heads got busted in with glass and plastic bottle in a free-for-alls. One Drake fan shouted that this was possibly the most action he got the entire 3 hours he stayed waiting, then the kid behind me brilliantly added: “New York niggas don’t know how to act, I swear”.

Thanks Adele

PROSTHETICS, CRAZY SPIRIT, LONG PIGS @ PARTY EXPO, July 13 2010
8PM
$7
ALL AGES

Go to this show, good punk bands!

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I flew to Austin, TX for Chaos in Tejas a day early and somehow made it to the Super 8 Motel, which gets packed yearly with people who have traveled from all over the world for this fest. I went swimming with a bunch of Canadian kids that I met until the pool turned green and everybody got kicked out by the overly neurotic management, who acted like they had no idea this was going to happen over Memorial Day weekend. I probably passed out after that because I suck at partying and knew I would need at least some sleep if I wanted to catch most of the shows I’d come down from New York to watch.

Although day one of the fest was by far the weakest in terms of show listings, the lack of daytime shows gave everybody a chance to go for a swim in the creek until it got dark out. Once night rolled around, I went to a garage show at Red 7 to see Seattle’s The Spits. There was a really great hardcore show going on down the street, but the lineup consisted of bands that were playing multiple sets during the fest while The Spits could only perform on one night. They’re also one of the coolest and most dynamic bands around right now, so it didn’t really matter that I didn’t care for the other bands on the bill. In my opinion, The Spits are one of the best current examples of basic, fast and gritty punk rock. There are very few frills and I haven’t heard a song of theirs that isn’t completely catchy. The only gimmicky aspect of this band is that they sometimes wear costumes on stage (they donned stringy, black wigs in Texas), but it’s only secondary entertainment because The Spits’ musical live show is so strong. I definitely came out of mosh retirement for this one and dove off the stage after snapping this picture.

A band called X (Australia) followed The Spits but I hated them. They were being billed as one of the bigger bands on the fest but no one I knew had even heard them or just wished that X from Los Angeles were playing instead. Maybe they were just getting mad Internet head? No idea where all of this stupid hype was coming from because they sounded like really mediocre and bland garage rock. Not to mention that the flyer referred to them as “’07 punk legends,” which is kind of appalling when you consider that they stole their name from actual punk legends from thirty years ago.

Part of me kind of wishes that I’d gone to the hardcore show, which featured awesome bands like Talk is Poison, Wasted Time, Nerveskade, and Finland’s Kyklooppien Sukupuutto. Here are some pictures I found of what I was missing.

Lexi Lampel
Brooklyn, NY