SUPERCHIEF.tv

Was that cream cheese thing a double entendre?

Try to keep your head up, my damies. Just like my boy Ken has been doing for twenty years, son. Na’mean?

Stay cool.

I think this creature may be rising to stardom pretty soon.

I love how enthusiastically the judges voted for Big Mouth. The rest of the contestants must have REALLY sucked.

Quit being complete dinguses, America. The ground Zero mosque doesn’t exist, and even if ti did, the only people who can say shit on shit are the actually family of Ground Zero victims. Also, they’re wrong.

Even Keith Olbermann be clownin on you.

WATCH THE WHOLE THING DINGOS. I know you’re tweaking and have a short attention span, but come on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKgHal-Csqo&NR=1&feature=fvwp (embed disabled by request go fuck yourself)

For those of you who don’t care, I’m taking a comedy writing course. This is hard because I’m not funny, and there are rules involved. All the skits you see (in comedy of all types) follow a “game” theory, where there’s a main premise and then it gets bigger and bigger. You have to expand this one concept to make it funnier, and use “beats” to punctuate it. I just wrote my first one ever called “ASSEMBLY LINE BIKINI WAX”. Are you thinking about my pubic hair? That was the goal, to get you to think about my pussy. I want my teacher to think about my pussy, so he doesn’t realize I’m talentless. He won’t be listening to what I have to say when I’m forced to participate, because his mind will have drifted from the thought of my pussy, to the pussies of other women he can also never fuck. Above are the sketches I watched all morning for inspiration. I used to want to marry Larry David, but now I want to marry Dave Cross. That being said, they are very, very good. I will never be that good. Blackout! (you’re supposed to close things with the word “blackout”! Word, Con Ed/ Indiana JONES.)

What’s up Locos?

This is my first post on the olde Superchief and unless Ed kicks me out it won’t be my last, but Ed is kinda lazy and really busy so I’ll probably be able sneak a few more in…

This is what I’m doing this weekend

What about you?

Love,

Barfshark

You better thank it when you hit your knees tonight and pray to Big Boss.

This Mel Gibson phone call to Christian bale made us all giggle:

Which reminded us all of this beautiful tribute to Powerman (aka C-Bale) having a bad day and letting people know. Bonus points for the Barbara Steisand cameo out of nowehere:

We’re aware how old this shit is, but funny is funny. This Bill O’Reilly classic had us all hail Satan-ing for an hour or so. Embrace the New Flesh, kiddies:

HAHAHAHAHA, I hate this guy.

I really enjoy shows that take you inside the mind of a funny person. Chapelle Show, Curb, and now apparently Louie.

Oh, and that bit about the milk cartons? PRICELESS.

I made a youtube channel of the worst songs I could possibly find that were also popular among some idiots. I’ll be giving you some highlights because you’re so fucking lucky.

some thoughts:

-David Letterman can suck my choad
-this whole band looks like 90’s mall culture. to all their toddler fans, I should mention, we already did this stuff, only we had placebo and nine inch nails, which were slightly cooler
-check out the keyboard monkey and his stupid face at 0:29. he looks like he’s got this horrible faggy “inside joke” face going on, like he’s secretly in love with the guitarist
-the fucking X’s in tape on their jackets and shit are killing me. you guys are supposedly successful musicians, you should be able to afford better decoration than tape
-the keyboard goblin is using at least a grand’s worth of synthesizer equipment to essentially bang a stick to simulate a really easy bass line. talk about form over function, how about playing the bass, or just playing the fucking keyboard you have right in front of you? fucking butthead.
-these two guitarists have eighty seven pedals between the two of them and their strumming the same four notes without any change in tone or pedal. if you KNOW you’re playing one song, do you really need all that shit?
-dear singer: it’s possible to use your voice in different notes and octaves and to modulate your weird robot tone. it’s called singing.
-also, cut your fucking hair macy gray

in short, this song is incredibly boring but these jackanapes are so fucking smug it makes me want revenge. these guys could have just walked on stage, started a drum machine and three samplers and put a speak and say next to the mike and gone back to the green room for more wheat thins and vitamin water.

FUCK YOU DICKLICKS I’M GOING HOME

WHY WON’T AMERICANS TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?!

because it was so hot.

Couple things about this guy:

-he seems to be headed straight for the toxic waste in the first place. Strategy is the name of the game, my man.
-he becomes IMMEDIATELY IRRADIATED. I thought he was just burnt or something but his eyes are all jacked and his fingers are long and he looks like Toxie, an obvious inspiration for the makeup artist. Word to the wise regarding radiation. You don’t start looking like A nosferatu version of Peter Lorre the second it touches you.
-he seems to come cleanly off the guys windshield with a couple of swipes from your wipers. I think he would stick to it a little more and might require the full-service treatment and the local Conoco.

Other than that, great movie, I await the inevitable remake starring Liam Neeson as Robocop and Jonah Hill as that guy.

Goodnight, Bill.

oh you fatsos.

DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T! DON’T!