SUPERCHIEF.tv

I was watching some “It’s Always Sunny” reruns on Comedy Central last night when I saw this HP commercial with Dr. Dre:

like what the fuck was that? seriously. There’s an astronomical amount of bullshit happening all over this commercial.

I mean there’s no way Dre was excited about shooting this futuristic nonsense, right? I don’t see him being all like, “HELL YEAH, ALL THAT SHIT IS ENTIRELY NECESSARY TO SELL COMPUTERS. THE FACE GUARD? THE FLOATING TRAY? THE ROBOT COMPUTER ROOM THAT WILL NEVER EVER EXIST ANYWHERE? DAMN, YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKIN GENIUSES!” Not a chance.

The old Dre woulda slapped a bitch for trying to get him to act in some crap like this, best balee dat. Here’s your proof:

unnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Can anybody shed some light on these videos? Is that Sunny Delight?

Please. I’m dying here.

You assholes. There was NO REASON to make this video. Its Advertising for something that has no alternative, its not as if these new features on the 100 dollar bill were going to make it so i no longer use the Euro at my local diner.

ITS THE ONLY OPTION WE’VE GOT. (i’ve been dropping hondo’s at my dinner on the daily.)

I bet this ad cost at LEAST one hundred dollars. (stupid, cheap-ass screensaver bullshit.)

what the fuck, treasury?

UPDATE: On second thought…
i’ve gotten two fake hundies at Party Expo shows in the last couple of months… so maybe this shit is great.

THIS SHIT IS GREAT! NO MORE FAKES!!!

but Sly Stallone is going to make you buy it anyway. How very masculine of him.

Pay attention to the signs around you and all your dreams can become a reality!

The actual secret to success in life is below the jump, I’m not kidding!
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Not Bad, Penguin (please watch before reading, it makes a bit more sense.)

Now here’s a little cynicism for you, no matter how positive that message was:

That was still advertising. Although its message was positive, on another level it was condescending, selfish, manipulative and myopic (shortsighted, thnx internet dictionary). Yes, we like the feel of books in our hands, but i feel like in 5 years, we’re going to like having 500 books/countless magazines/ unlimited websites and a netflix worth of movies on a thing that can be carried around in our back pocket but still expands to a screen worth watching the above on a bit more.

Long story short: We wont be buying your filthy books, Penguin. I know you’re scrambling to stay afloat, but its just ridiculous to take note of the superficiality of what seems to be an entire civilization’s media fueled obsession with the meaningless AND overall consumer malaise from only the viewpoint of the book market’s sharply declining sales and assuming the blame is easily resting on a demographic that is looking for a new “hope and change” slogan t-shirt to wear. That is just lazy, and again, condescending.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP:

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Sex sells, but so does being really really clever.

DEAR AXE BODY PRODUCT: i will not buy your product. but i appreciate you and i thank you for spending all that money in the hopes that i will like your short film enough to buy your product. thank you for the moment you gave me, thank you for making the creative choices that led to this being aired.

you were right, women are beautiful.

DEAR REDBULL PRODUCT: i will buy your product, when needed. i appreciate you and i thank you for spending all that money in the hopes that i will like your short film enough to buy your product. it worked. also, on occasion, i find myself in the market for your product and will choose yours above an unknown brand. i trust in what you showed me here and like to think about your ads when i see your product. thank you for the moment you gave me, i enjoyed experiencing those feats vicariously. thank you for making the creative choices that led to this being aired. i will think about them as i drink your product and feel added enjoyment.

here’s some more after the jump!!!

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