SUPERCHIEF.tv

Quick, what’s your biggest problem right now? EXACTLY: an excess of breast milk in your refrigerator that you can’t for the life of you figure out what to do with. Up until  now you’ve just been using it to bathe in. We know we know…nothing like a breast milk shower.

Well, good news! New York City Chef Daniel Angerer has figured out a way to put all that milk to better use.  He’s taking his own baby momma’s milk and making all sorts of fucked up cheeses with it. And the best part? He’s actually willing to let you try it! And then after you try it he let’s you suck directly from the source, his wife’s tits. SUPERCHIEF sent Suga Slim out to do some field investigating. Haven’t heard back from him yet, though…doesn’t bode well.

Or, I guess if you’re a pussy and not into that sort of thing, you can just make your own breast cheese.

WE HAVE THE RECIPE AFTER THE JUMP!!! NOW GO GIT PREGNINT!!!

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I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO!!!!!!!!!!

Someone get me some Monistat. I’ve been douching too much. 

Last I left off I was just about to go on a fun-filled date with this boy wonder. You may remember his golden ‘let me fit you in’ line. Talk about panty dropper!

Well, the only thing to be done in situations such as these is to steel yourself & go in full tilt. I did this by taking 4 shots within 20 minutes of the date. I mean, when you’ve prepped yourself for a night that promises to be about as fun as watching Wheel Of Fortune with your grandmother, how can a little binge drinking hurt?!

It can’t. Remember that. It cannot. In fact, it only makes things WAY BETTER. 

I won’t bore you with the details…you aren’t a masochist like myself after all, but here are some amazing highlights: 

- When we met up, he shook my hand. SHOOK MY HAND!? I’m sorry, is he here because he lost a bet? 

- Finally conversation is underway & we’re both really in the groove of things. I’d say a good solid 10 minutes without awkward pauses. Perfect time to break out the cell phone, letting me know he’s just received a text message & it may be important.

Well, then by all mean, Doctor…

Oh, wait, what’s that? You’re not a doctor? You’re a photographer? Right, I bet that text can wait till I go to the bathroom then! 

- After sending said text, he reaches over, squeezes my leg, apologizes, & then holds my hand as he continues his conversation. This would be a great move if he were at all warm in the first place. 

I may or may not have looked down at our hands & laughed right in his face.

I may or may not have also dropped my drink on the ground at the same time.

- I’m pretty sure you can only use one of the following adjectives in one sitting when describing anything about your work, family, social activities, or schooling: ‘prestigious’, ’selective’, ‘elite’, ‘exclusive’, ‘private’, ‘privileged’, etc. And even if that’s not true, you CERTAINLY cannot use all of them & their derivatives in one breath. Where the fuck did you go to school/hang out/grow up?! STUDIO 54 IN SPACE?! THE ONLY PLACE THAT IS THAT FUCKING VIP IS STUDIO 54 IN SPACE.

- At the end of the night he offered me a ride home. How nice!

Note: if you offer a girl a ride home & she accepts & ask if you’re sure, do not say ‘Well, how far do you live?”

Guy, who raised you? 

- And to cap it all, you just can’t, cannot, cannot, cannot, can’t, can’t, cannot say “you live here?” and then lean in for a kiss. 

This guy was like a living tornado! No idea which way he’s coming from!

When it comes to getting cocaine, Britain is kicking everyone’s ass. British authorities estimate that the average cup of coffee in London is MORE expensive than the average rail of coke, indicating that the drug has lost over 50% of it’s value in the past couple years. If you know anything about the economics of drug trade, which we do, low prices mean that the drug is readily available, easy to transport, and there’s little risk involved in selling it. If we had to guess, it also means that it’s pretty shitty coke, too.

Another study completed in 2009 estimates that 99 percent of British bank notes contain traces of cocaine on them. Damn, Britain. SLOWWWWW DOOOWWWWWNNNNN, that shit’ll kill you…

Pretty much the same thing could be said about visiting SUPERCHIEF.TV

Today is the 13th anniversary of Biggie’s death. We’ll be pouring out forties on the corner all damn day if you want to join us.

SO fucking stupid.

Watch out ladies…he’s young, dumb and full of cum.

for the ladies who know me tell them who the fuck I BE!
for the niggas who know me tell them who the fuck I BE!
my style comes down on ya’ll like rocks
by the doc
umm by the flock
by the creak by the flock
got east coast locked down, padlocked
my sulu be all all down by the flock

[Chorus: repeat 2X]
[Verse One: repeat]

don’t forget it, superchief rawest skwad in brooklyn, kid
(thx nina hartmann)
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I hope to see this going down at like 5 in the morning in an actual scuffle

Cops took a bite out of crime when they arrested a subway rider for chomping off part of a fellow straphanger’s finger in Jackson Heights.

[The chomper], 48, jumped the man aboard an F train nearing the Roosevelt Avenue station at 8:10 a.m. on Feb. 11, police said.

The man tried to fight off [the chomper], who bit off the top of the victim’s index finger, cops said.

[The chomper] was soon in handcuffs, said a spokeswoman for DA Richard Brown.

Surgeons reattached the victim’s digit.

Snoop Dogg, Lou Reed, Mark E. Smith, De La Soul…not bad, Gorillaz, not bad at all.

STREAM IT HERE

or maybe that shit was just in the air back then…

1969 mannnnnnnnn, even your parents were wasted and fugging in the streets man…

(yeah i know its a million years old, DAD.)

We’ve been huffing whippits all day and watching rollercoasters in HD!!!

what are YOU doing, punk?