SUPERCHIEF.tv

SO THAT’S WHY IT’S TOTALLY INSENSITIVE TO PUT A MOSQUE AT GROUND-ZERO. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

PS If you’ve lived in NY at any point, you’ve been affected.
PPS You think they got their 40 virgins?

Come get down this Monday for the second installation of my new dopeeeeee fucking party at Home Sweet Home.  Crypto-Night!  Myself (Cool Hand Luke), Dirtyfinger, and HALF PRICED, I REPEAT, HALF-PRICED, drinks ALL NIGHT.  Ya dig?

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=142962052405502&ref=ts

Quit being complete dinguses, America. The ground Zero mosque doesn’t exist, and even if ti did, the only people who can say shit on shit are the actually family of Ground Zero victims. Also, they’re wrong.

Even Keith Olbermann be clownin on you.

WATCH THE WHOLE THING DINGOS. I know you’re tweaking and have a short attention span, but come on.

1) learn the super clap spin.
2) wear a chastity ring.
3) get that shirt.
4) be this dude.

fuck bitches get money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKgHal-Csqo&NR=1&feature=fvwp (embed disabled by request go fuck yourself)

For those of you who don’t care, I’m taking a comedy writing course. This is hard because I’m not funny, and there are rules involved. All the skits you see (in comedy of all types) follow a “game” theory, where there’s a main premise and then it gets bigger and bigger. You have to expand this one concept to make it funnier, and use “beats” to punctuate it. I just wrote my first one ever called “ASSEMBLY LINE BIKINI WAX”. Are you thinking about my pubic hair? That was the goal, to get you to think about my pussy. I want my teacher to think about my pussy, so he doesn’t realize I’m talentless. He won’t be listening to what I have to say when I’m forced to participate, because his mind will have drifted from the thought of my pussy, to the pussies of other women he can also never fuck. Above are the sketches I watched all morning for inspiration. I used to want to marry Larry David, but now I want to marry Dave Cross. That being said, they are very, very good. I will never be that good. Blackout! (you’re supposed to close things with the word “blackout”! Word, Con Ed/ Indiana JONES.)

We’re tearing Legion a new butt hole this Friday.

No Cover
Drink Specials
21+

LINEUP-

Rev McFly (Ninjasonik)

Mr. Andersonic

Cool Hand Luke (TrifeLife/Nightspitter/PartyXPO)

DJ Johnny Sierra (The Death Set)

DJ Nine Lives The Cat (The Death Set)

Plus special guest appearances by Michael Vick, Lester Diamond and the ghost of Nicole Brown Simpson.

buck buck buck.

BANGERS PROJECT starts tonight.  Hosted by Cool Hand Luke X Trifelife.  We got bottles…  No Cover.  21+.  At Gallery Bar on Orchard by Delancey.

2 for 1 margaritas from 10-12

Lineup-

Cool Hand Luke (TrifeLife/Nightspitter/PartyXPO)

Anton Glamb (Radical Outing)

WCKids (Weathy Ho$tage/Mota)

Skitsnygg (Radical Outing)

plus a special performance by dancehall artist Platnum Star.

What’s up Locos?

This is my first post on the olde Superchief and unless Ed kicks me out it won’t be my last, but Ed is kinda lazy and really busy so I’ll probably be able sneak a few more in…

This is what I’m doing this weekend

What about you?

Love,

Barfshark

No lie, I’ve seen all this Justin Bieber fever shit happening, but I haven’t understood what the hell made him so famous. I woke up this morning with Paula Abdul “Straight Up” stuck in my head. When 80s synth is dance party in your frontal lobes at hungover 10 am, the best thing to do is get up. If you wait it out, it’ll only get worse. Eat some tainted eggs, hope for the best and than sojourn to youtube on your own time. Watch Paula. Think about the backup dancer’s hat… and that coat. Anyway, the powers of the internet led me to the Biebs vid. Biebs sounds like Babs.

America has created a persona that is the opposite of Osama Bin Laden. He’s like everything we’re not afraid of in the form of an effeminate teenage boy, which shows how afraid we are. At least in my time, there were the Backstreet Boys or whatever. There were 5 of them, so there was potential for a gang-bang. Also, they had strict personality traits, including the Italian one who had threatening facial hair.

Alas, since the world is going to end in 2 years and everyone in Venezuela will be murdered, unknown authorities are offsetting the national sentiment with Justin Bieber. His most popular “song” or whatever is this one with Ludacris, which fucks me up because it’s like watching Luda on Shinning Time Station. Over 300 million people have seen the thing, which is basically the national population including Iraq. The best part of Bieber is that he looks exactly like a lesbian. I couldn’t even hate him, it was like Hillary Swank via Park Slope was crooning to me. I would let her suck the clit. So would 300 million other people. It’s also funny that he’s such a dyke (pardon my French) because young girls are attracted to other girls, or guys who look like girls, before they start recognizing masculinity as sexy.  It’s like a government media genius, children’s sexual psychologist came in and fucking designed Justin Bieber. And now my 9 year old won’t stop masturbating.

HAPPY BDAY BILL!!

Bow down before our shiny metal masters. For some reason a Los Angeles County jail has developed a laser that produces a “burning sensation” in humans(!)

Thanks guys! Why the fuck did you make that? Why don’t you try to decrease the stabbings or give the good folks on C-Block two pieces of cheese in their sandwiches?

Oh well, here’s some dumbasses and a robot.

You can almost feel the coming bloodshed. Happy Birthday, Bill.

We’re goin in, and we’re gonna go hard.

Warmth among friends was shared in both temperature and liquid form at Party Expo thanks to the bands Boogie Boarders, Snakes Say Hiss, and special guests: Thee Oh Sees who were doin’ their thing and jammin’ everyone’s hearts out.  Upstairs, Cool Hand Luke, Maxwell 57, Nick Gazin, and Maggie LEE were spinning it all around; there wasn’t a dry body in the place.  So here’s to Vice and Colt 45, we raise our cans to you, free beer, pool, floor ponds, and skate ramps.  You better believe we love those summer nights.

wow this video hurt me and I want the authorities to know

-First off, I don’t want this to turn into a girls against boys feminist thing. Women are awesome, these broads are probably pretty cool (and I would kick it to them) but their band CHUNKS and they should go back to Conde Nast. p.s. i think girls against boys are pretty cool so what do i know

-this group is on epicac records. if that isn’t based on the Vonnegut story it is an aptly named record company

-0:12, the way this gal is concentrating on playing that simple guitar part kind of giggles me out. or is she thinking about something else? she should be — hoop earrings? HELLO GIRLFRIEND! HELLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

-and then the internet kicks in. I never thought I’d say this but the internet has killed music videos. everybody’s got vomiting unicorns laserbeaming gary colemans because it costs, like, nine dollars to produce. is it actually more expensive to do an interesting vid-yo where the band just plays their instruments? I mean not these guys because they don’t play anything and I would hate to see them standing there fake ad-rocking with their jazz hands all over my saturday. solution? just don’t make the video and I’m a happy guy.

-fuck baggy jeans. show off your plump, girl.

-this reporter is sick of cheesy fat hipsters with silly hair being in videos “doing” “funny” “stuff”. I’m fat and look horrible and I have never been asked to be in a video and so nobody gets to swim in the pool. Also, I think less people should have fat friends. Let them frolic with their own kind.

-oh, yeah. these chicks fucking RAP. did I mention that? Please stop doing that. I guess you can continue to sing your crap-pop hooks if it makes you feel better but if you ain’t the geto boys, it shouldn’t be done.

Since these ladies are all obviously moms, I apologize to they kids.

Word.

It’s true. We never take breaks from the important stuff, dingos. Whether it be eating glass or interviewing Jonathan Safran Foer, we are always ready to take a bullet for Reagan and save the internet again.

It’s not easy. it requires a lot of physical training.

I don’t buy it.